#8 Another Note From The Caregiver

On most Mondays, I plan to publish a past communication or two about Eric Russ and his Health Journey that originally appeared in Caring Bridge.  For anyone with a “health opportunity” as my nurse friend calls it, I hope these posts are helpful.

For Eric Another Day, Another Snooze. For Terri, Well, Not So Much…

Jim Reed is with Eric this morning and will be with Eric today in a quiet way or whatever is needed.  Eric is still sleeping a lot.  I am at home catching up on some much needed office work.  I appreciate this opportunity to get prepared for getting my consulting business back together enough to bring in some money and make a living.  Imagine that.

I’m better today, so I can tell you that my own personal journey on Sunday was deeply emotional —  pretty much non-stop wailing.  This is different than crying.  Crying is crying and you get some Kleenex, and you have a good cry and you feel better.

Wailing, on the other hand, is unearthing.  And this unearthing comes with sound and feeling from the depths of one’s being, and comes up out of a person in no kind of pattern in particular, is triggered by nothing at all in the moment, and it can’t be stopped, reasoned with or subdued.  It’s pretty much volcanic.

So yesterday, I just let it come.  The strangest sounds came out of me, and sometimes they would come in the middle of a very ordinary sentence which had nothing to do with the subject of grief.  In all fairness, though, once when the wailing happened, I was talking with Jim Reed about protecting outdoor faucets in freezing weather which is a bit ironic.  So the short story is that I didn’t even try to calm myself down (as a couple friends can tell you, because they heard it) and because clearly calming down wasn’t gonna happen just because I wanted it to happen.  My body and my being had other ideas.

Life lately seems to be a cleansing and clearing of the highest order.  Can I get an AMEN on that? Many of us in WomanSong (women’s choir in Asheville, NC) are reeling from the death of our dear friend and fellow singer Jayne Caldwell who passed away suddenly over the Holidays following minor surgery.  I am sharing my “wailing experience”   because I personally know a number of people who are going through life-changing situations at this time, and having “permission” to wail could be a good thing for you or someone you know.

love to you all, and thank you for thinking of us both, and for your loving words here on this site, on the phone, in emails and texts.  Every kind word and thought from you is appreciated deeply at this time.

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