Today, A Small Story About Why Being Yourself Matters.


I often think about the people who make our daily world run.

Today, as I flattened my boxes and emptied my goods at the Henderson County Recycling Center, I thought about all the people who make this place work.

There was no one waiting to pull into my spot, so I took my sweet time, and looked around more than usual.

A big container for plastic and glass was missing. No problem, I thought. I’ll head down the row and find another one.

But wait! 

Shielding my eyes and staring into the distance I wondered if the driver of the big truck coming this way was bringing an empty container.

He was.

I found myself wondering how he would get that gigantic container to sit down right where it’s supposed to…

Hmm. Maybe I’ll watch.

Like something out of a cartoon, he sped over the landscape in his giant truck, kicking up a little dust as he drove, made a perfect turn, backed up efficiently, and put that behemoth of a container down in the empty space in the most precise way.

The container was lined up (I swear) within a half an inch of the other one. Amazed at his precision, I watched him slide that gigantic chunk of metal perfectly into place. I have to tell you, it was LOUD, and it was a thing of beauty.

I didn’t know he was watching me.


No question, I expected an extra loud crash when the other end of the container dropped to the ground — I totally, without a doubt knew it was coming.

But when it finally dropped, it was louder than I expected and it scared me to death. I jumped, screamed a little, and then laughed at myself and shook it off.

Within a few seconds, a handsome, burly, tan guy with hunky shoulders and arms, wearing sunglasses and a work vest appeared from below and chuckled, “Did I scare ya?”

We both laughed!


This man was a gentleman and I so entirely loved that he invited me to use the empty container he had just delivered. The direct and to the point way he spoke matched his ability to deliver containers.

HE: Do you have some cans and bottles?

ME:  I do.

HE:  (gesturing towards the container) Go right ahead.

ME: The doors are closed.

HE:  They slide open easily. Just give them a push to the right.

ME:  Well, how easy is that? Thank you!

He smiled, gave me a quick wave and went on his way. 


I love men of all types — burly garbage guys, proper professors, bold businessmen and everything in between. I love the young man at Verizon who helped me with my phone. He wore gray tennis shoes and tight jeans rolled up to reveal tall red socks, the perfect color of subtle red. Quite the creative outfit!

He knew everything, everything, everything about my phone.

If the Verizon wizard stood next to the guy who drives trucks and hauls heavy containers, you would have nodded with me at the marvelous variety of men in this world.

It’s like seeing a rose next to an orchid. Or a football player next to a gentle guy who’s really good at arranging flowers.

Both are beautiful, and they are entirely different from one another.


One of the secrets to a great relationship, you know, is appreciating differences between you and your partner.

No need to change each other.

No need for a kerfuffle when your partner can’t do what you can do. After all, the truck driver in his fluorescent work vest and the phone wizard in rolled up pants and red socks both make the world work.

If you’re organized and your partner isn’t, or you’re a democrat and s/he’s republican, leave it alone.

Let there be variety in your togetherness. Bring your individual strengths to the relationship and you’ll have a whole lot of good fun.


Because then — everybody’s “all in.”


There’s nothing better FOR YOU or YOUR FAMILY than being ALL IN!


If you’re the relaxed, fun-loving one in the relationship who has the ability to kick back and lighten things up when your Henny Penny partner is sure the sky is falling, bring your calm and cool, fun-loving self to the relationship.

It’s your gift, but only if you give it.

If you’re good at keeping conversations on track, don’t be disgruntled at another in your family who wanders hopelessly through a discussion without a compass. Be the compass. They are doing their best — go ahead and do yours, and do it with deep kindness.

If you’re the money manager, the one accountable for the financial well-being of the family, do that, and stand still in your accountability.  Be that person entirely. Your partner may have no idea what accountability really is, so BE it. No need to make them like you, just be YOU.

If you’re good at listening, bring your lit up ears to your relationship. Contribute that. Be the person who is present and listens fully. Everybody benefits.

Don’t question yourself or hold back on expressing your skill because you’re the odd one out. Bring your gift, express it, contribute it.

Contributing your natural knowing makes your team a better team — you are bringing the real you to your daily expression (which feels satisfying to you) and those you care about get the very best of you!


being yourself, contributing your best self to a relationship, In Care of Relationships, Terri Crosby, why I love men, your gifts

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