Happy Birthday, Eric, Wherever You Are.

Dear Eric,

Happy Birthday, darling. I’ve been thinking of you.

I think of you here and there, or all the time. It depends.

Quite recently I panicked when I couldn’t instantly pull up a visual of your face or recall vividly what it was like to do simple things together: eat a meal, go for a drive or have a chat. It was strangely disconcerting.

And then thank goodness, a photo of you popped in (the one holding your golf clubs after that great shot) and my full recollection of you came back all at once. I was relieved. I didn’t enjoy the “fading from memory” thing…

I wonder what you’ve been up to in the 316 days (not that I’m counting) since you left. I wonder what it’s like to be you — now. Are you YOU, or are you a swirl of love swirling in other swirls of love or what? How does it work? I’d like to know how life is without skin on. Did you get sent to another planet? Are you on a new assignment? Do you know everything now?

You know the new electrician came today. Thanks for sending him. I’m sure he could not possibly be as skilled as you. But I’m glad to have one, not that he (or anyone) could begin to replace your brilliant electrical mind.

Bless his heart, New Electrical Man called at 9 am (which was his scheduled arrival time) to say he was helping his daughter this morning also — on her moving day. What a good father to do that for his daughter! Since my house was on the way to his daughter’s new house, he thought he’d kill two bird with one stone. He’d be arriving soon, he said.

Who knew he’d be driving a darn moving van the size of, well, Canada.

Oh bless this guy! Eric, you probably sent him for the entertainment value alone!  Not to mention the significance of having an electrician come ON your birthday for the very first time since you left the planet. That was a good one, dear. Something to make me smile on your special day.

Anyway, I got a second call from New Electrical Man saying he had turned on the wrong country road and his attempt to turn his vehicle around had failed and landed him in the ditch. He went on to say that a buddy of his who owns a towing company was on his way to pull him out.

Well, good. Finally, New Electrical Man was on his way — up the mountain to our house. OMG. Well,  I’m happy to say he made it, and I’m glad I had no idea he was driving a van the size of a large country up our mountain road.

Praises to the beauty of our being, he got here. Turns out, everything about this guy is super colossal.

He’s 6″5″, not obese, just BIG. He wears jeans the size of Texas and shoes the size of Alabama and the two of us walked around this house together while I pointed out what needed repair or inspection.

Eric, this guy is honest as the day is long, and thank you for that, but let me tell you about his jeans.

They slid down quite regularly.

He was wearing a belt, but it seemed ineffective at best. Mostly, I held my breath and tried not to look.

Lucky for me, he wore a navy T-shirt the length of California and navy underwear that could, I’m sure, cloak the Empire State Building. All that navy saved the day. Not only did everything match, but it did the cover up job perfectly.

There were a few moments, though, when I swear his sliding jeans defied gravity. That was probably you, honey, saving the day from far away. Just so you know, I appreciated that ever so much.

Well, who knew (you probably knew) he was only looking at the job today. He’s coming back next week to actually fix things, and I’m glad for that. Hopefully he won’t be driving a moving van and make sure, will you dear, that he wears lots of navy. I’m not sure I could handle it otherwise.

Well, Eric, you’ve certainly made me smile today. I have to admit, though, the day began with tears. Lots of them. I don’t know what it is about your birthday that’s different than any other day, but it is.

It would make everything better if you could come by for cake. Could you manage that? I’d make you a triple whammy extra delicious something or other if I thought it would get you here for a catch up visit. 

I miss you, but I do feel loved by you every day, including and especially today. Business (the cat) is standing in for you really, really well. Today, he’s practically making out with me (waaaay more than usual). He pushes his face into mine while I’m trying to type. I’m sure that’s you orchestrating the nearest four-legged, and thank you for the kisses.

Love you to the moon and back.

Forever and Always,



Eric Russ, In Care of Relationships, Terri Crosby

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