Your Beautiful Hands. How They Build Loving Relationships.

I’ve been thinking about our most satisfying, loving relationships and how they are made — how every piece, every element, every feature moves into place to create an experience of friendship, say, or being in love.

Which made me think about Haute Couture. How freely a beautiful garment is imagined. How a sketch on paper comes alive step by step.

Have you ever watched an artisan seamstress at work? The way she holds a needle, slips it through a sequin, and attaches it to a cloud of white fabric? It’s truly a thing of beauty. Her hands are beautiful, the way they move is beautiful.

Her hands are precise — yet free.

Until recently, I had not considered the roots of Haute Couture, that it comes from history and culture. It’s about creating something beautiful and timeless — through touch.

Think about the touch aspect with me for a moment. Haute Couture is about measuring, drawing, cutting, folding, tucking, and stitching pieces into place to create wearable art, something of timeless beauty.

Garments are created over many hours by many hands working together. To complete a handmade gown, it takes a team of hands somewhere between one hundred and seven hundred hours.

Human relationships are about touch, too. Many hands over many hours created beautiful you. And the influence of your hands has created beautiful others….

Think of the hours we spend holding the baby, stroking the baby’s head. How we place the fork next to the plate of food offered. Or how our hand moves to the shoulder of our loved one as we offer reassurance.

Think about the amount of time we spend creating love with others. Think of the conversation you imagine in your mind, the scissors you use to edit it, the way you fold new ideas into relating to your partner over time.

Making the Chanel Spring-Summer 2013 Collection

Are we aware of the beauty we’re creating every day with those we love? Do we pay attention to our relationships in conscious and attentive ways as artisans do?

In Haute Couture videos, notice the relaxed way hundreds of garment details are added one by one, layer by layer. Nobody seems to be rushing. Every detail is chosen, touched, placed, and secured as if there is plenty of time for it.

I think of the conversation I had yesterday with my landlord or with a friend on the phone. Did I do that, too?

At least once a year, I take time to watch a five-minute video of someone draping a garment. If you watch this one by Dior it will give you a new appreciation for your upcoming day or week, I promise.

The Creative Director of Valentino, Pierpaolo Piccioli, says fashion is about the moment, beauty is about eternity. That a beautiful creation is… “close to the inner grace of people.”

Today, my simple wish for all of us is to notice our inner grace. Our hands. Our scissors. Our measuring tape. How we personally build colors and textures into relationships of those we love.

I recommend approaching this observation with appreciation only. Nothing needs to change, everything is just right, you’re simply noticing how you imagine, how you create.

Maybe you’ll become more aware of your personal version of building a light-filled gown covered with butterflies on a breezy day.

Or you’ll notice how and when you add the deepest colors to your relationships. How you add love layers or word sequins. How you gently weave streams of silver-ribboned compassion into an intimate moment with someone you love.

haute couture, In Care of Relationships, Terri Crosby

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