SUMMER SHORTS: Shall I Stay or Shall I Go?
One “aha” during the agonizing “shall I stay or shall I go” chapter of my relationship with Eric was to realize there was no true urgency to decide one way or another, even though I felt inner pressure to make a decision.
I realized I didn’t have to figure it out, force it to happen, or hurry things up — that if I relaxed and let things unfold, our relationship would go wherever it did naturally, and it would become obvious what to do.
If I felt confused about staying or leaving, that was a signal that it was too early to figure out whether we would part ways. If things naturally improved, and we ended up staying together, that was fine with me, too.
I let things be. I backed off. I stopped trying to figure it out. I’m glad I did that. I recommend this approach wholeheartedly.
(P.S. Except in cases of abuse. If there is abuse, leave. Figure out the rest of the details later.)
This approach of allowing a path to reveal itself is a good one in many situations that seem urgent, but are truly not.
100 Words by Terri Crosby, In Care of Relationships, Shall I stay or go, stay or go, Terri Crosby
I so agree with this, Terri. When we can’t make a decision about what to do, sometimes the best decision is to do nothing.
Yes, time to sit back a bit and let things undo, unfold, unravel. Such a relief on every level.
how great to be in a place where either path would be fine…some people call it peace…
Indeed, it felt peaceful, which allowed me to focus on my well-being, and step by step, the well-being of our relationship. Slowing things down allowed me to make wiser decisions and lasting changes in myself.